Monday, January 2, 2012

When things are not meant to be


Many times we the heard the question “Is right love at the wrong time is right or wrong?”. For me, it is still wrong because not all the times the love that we felt toward someone is right. Sometimes we have many things to be considered, first if the person you love was still available or someone is already occupying his/her heart. It hurt’s, yeah it is, to let go of someone you  mean so much in your life  it’s not easy, and then you can you say that maybe some things are just not meant to be.

 Meron akong experience dati and that was 5 years ago if I’m not mistaken so forgot me beauty…hahaha...as of now I realize that if things were not meant to be it will never be happen even if your road will crossed again. I want to share this love story of mine…haha…na remember ko lang ito since I had a dream the other day of this person and that’s makes me remind of this love story of mine.  He used to my boardmate before, that was 2008 ata, his name is Henry the first time we meet it was quite the usual way. Morning iyon eh kalalabas ko from my room and Im going to the CR to do my morning routine it means sobrang gulo ng face ko at that time at a bit sleepy pa din..hahaha..tas nagulat ako ng may biglang may ngtanong sa akin pag lingon ko medyo biglang nabuhay me dugo because aminin ko man oh hindi abay may face value ang taong ngtanong..hahaha…ang tanong lang naman “excuse me miss, saan pwede ako makabili ng shampoo?”. Abay nawindang me talaga kasi antok pa ako at alam ko na magulo ang face ko…hahaha… buti nalang medyo malayo sa akin..hahaha… From then, ewan ko ba why our roads will always crossed nandoon iyong palagi ko siyang makasalubong pag lalabas ako ng room until such time that we became comfortable from each other, then exchanging number then texting exchanging thoughts. Then one night, when I was about to do my routine before going to sleep, when I pass the living room of our boarding house, not to be considered naman talaga na living room,  basta maliit lang siya na space with sofa in front of a TV. Tinawag niya ako since hindi pa din kasi antok at that time, kwentuhan churva, then nglakas loob si “mama”mgtanong if my boyfriend ako, of course natawa ako, sabi ko na lang next question please..haha, but he never allow me tawa lang ako kasi at that time I just came from a breakup sa firstlove ever lalo ko…haha. A usual thing to a guy kinulit ako since wala din naman sa akin iyon or like ko din mglabas ng sama ng loob sabi ko wala eh, galing ko sa break up. Then, I noticed he was intently looking at me sabay sabi “Sa ganda mong iyan”,  my reaction abay bolero ang isang ito, of course di me ngpahalata sabi ko na lang, weeeh kaya niya ako iniwan kasi kutong lupa siya…abay napatawa ko ang “mama” doon na notice may face value talaga ang ganda ngumiti..(currently na isip ko pa din pala ang mga ngiting iyon, I just thought na nakalimutan ko,haha, nakatago lang pala). The nights ends sa masayang kwentuhan namin at that week also, I received a text from him inviting for a dinner pasyal ko din daw siya sa Cebu since hindi naman siya taga dito at na assign lang dito para mg train. Since, wala naman akong gagawin sa weekend I said yes kasi may libring kain din iyon, laman tyan din iyon..hahaha. And in the first place I thought it was a friendly date, then the time come masaya naman kami sa gala namin from then palagi ko na siyang kakwentuhan every night but I never bother to ask him if he was with someone else since hindi ko naman nilagayan ng malisya lahat ng iyon since I know from myself that I’m not ready to fall inlove again. Then one night sa kwentuhan namin sinabi niya babalik na daw siya sa manila that week din since patapos na din ang training niya dito I became suddenly sad since I used to na kawentuhan ko siya and he really helps me to forgot for a while sa akong mga kachurvahan since he’s really funny and intelligent. Then sabi ko nalang ganoon ba ingat ka ha, since it day off ko for 2 days I decided to go home since I don’t want to see him leaving. Sunday night I received a text from him never ko siya nakalimutan ang text na iyon…hahaha

“Hi flor, magadang gabi, sana nandito ka sa pag alis ko, alam mo sa maikling oras na ngkasama tayo, aaminin ko nahulog ang loob ko sa iyo, sobrang bait mo kasi, kung sana ngkita at ngkatagpo tayo sa ibang panahon at ibang time, kung saan hindi ako involve sa ibang babae, ikaw sana ang babaeng piliin ko na mahalin”

I was a bit shocked after reading that text, I don’t know how to react, he also mean to me at that time. Monday morning, bumalik ako sa city to see him before he leave we talk about what he felt for me. I was talking to him na sguro ngkataon lang na ako palagi na nakasama niya kaya nasabi niya iyon but he insist what he felt for me is true na kung sana wala siyang GF at that time. After we talk he left going back to Manila, nahirapan akong mag explain what I felt at that time a sudden rush of sadness, hinatid ko siya until makasakay siya ng taxi going to the airport but before he go inside the taxi he hug me and kiss in the cheek, my tears fall until nawala ang taxi sa paningin ko. After he left I miss him everyday until such time na hindi ko na naramdaman ang pangkalungkot ko then someone comes around 2009, our relationship lasted for 7 months, it was around November at that same year when my relationship with mike was not doing good, Cool off kami noon then I meet Henry again bumalik siya ng Cebu for another set of training. As I remember, I was walking at Ayala grocery section to do buy something when someone bugs me from the back, when I turned my head I was a bit surprised when I recognized that smile again. Yes, he was smiling at me and intently staring at my face sabay sabi “flor, kamusta kana? Na miss kita”. I was smiling at him too as I answered “ok lang maganda pa din…haha”, natawa ako sa kalokohan ko, at same time also he was asking my number since na miss ko din siya I give my number again..haha…. Actually at that time I was in a big trouble with my present relationship with mike but hiwalay kami at that time. Kinagabihan we texted but it was friendly conversation, he was asking how’s life and lovelife,hahaha, sabi ko ok naman but I never told him about my current situation. When I asked him about his GF, he was telling that wala daw sila, I was surprised sabi ko na lang, ganoon ba. 3 days of texting he was inviting me again to a dinner, of course sama me since we are both single and again laman tiyan iyon, sayang…hahaha… During our dinner we talk about his girl for 3 years, of course kinig lang ako, churva din kasi ako that time ayaw ko mgbigay ng advice..haha… When he ask me hows my lovelife sabi ko complicated kasi cool off kami noon ni mike, I tell him my story, sabi niya ok lang iyan, maraming mgmahal pa sa iyo. After our dinner hatid niya ako sa boarding house ko since pero din a iyong dati kung saan kami ng meet…haha..doon na sa bago…  After that night, he keep on texting me, then biruan always, then one night ngbiro siya, “flor miss mo ba ako?” sabi ko oo naman wala na kasi akong clown…hahaha… When he suddenly ask a question na miss mo ba si Mike, sabi ko, yap so much, I suddenly open my emotion with him that I’m really sad co’s I really miss mike. After that lumabas pa kami ulit, pero kahit anong pilit ko di mawala talaga si mike sa isip ko kahit mas gwapo pa ang kasama ko…hahaha.. naiiyak ako bigla at that time co’s in my heart how I wish si Mike ang kasama ko at that moment. I know he noticed it, after that he pursued me asking if we can be, I tell him what I truly felt… “sabi ko ayaw ko maging unfair sa iyo kasi mahal ko pa din si mike at nasasaktan pa din ako until now”, he replied, sabi “sana di ka titigil sa pagmamahal dahil lang sa kanya.” After that conversation he never texted me for a week. He just text me 3 days before he go back to manila again but before he left ngkita pa kami, kainan lang din, talking, talking but nothing personal. It was Friday he texted me alam ko iyon ang flight niya pbalik ng Manila at di ko siya hinatid…haha

flor I love you and goobye, thanks for everything. Ingat ka always.”

I cried after I received that text, maybe things between us were not really meant to be or hindi pa ang panahon for us. I just put in my mind if kami talaga mgtagpo din ulit ang landas namin kung saan pwede na ang lahat.

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