Monday, January 9, 2012

God will get you through the pain

 On this day of your life, we believe God wants you to know ... that God will get you through the pain.

Everyone experiences pain sometimes, emotional and physical. Next time it threatens to overwhelm you, take a deep breath. As you breathe slowly, picture God holding you, crying with you, giving you the strength to get through.


Sunday, January 8, 2012

Viva Pit Senyor!!!



 One week to go Sinulog na sa Cebu, it's one of the big fiesta here in Cebu, celebrating the fiesta of Senior Sto. Nino. Today after going to my aunt's house, we go together to the Sto. Nino church to attend the 4 P.M. mass and sobrang daming tao, siksikan ang tulukan talaga, once again I witnessed how Cebuano people loved Baby JESUS. At hindi ko naman masisi kasi ang daming miracle and how we are being protected by the baby Jesus. There's this one song that I really during mass, its from GOZO's, it's a heart warming song that everytime I heard this song it can make me cry... I want to share this... and some pics.. 


Batobalani sa gugma,
Sa daan tawo palanga.

Tubag:
KANAMO MALOOY KA UNTA
NGA KANIMO NANGILABA
Dinhi sa siudad sa Sugbo
ang matahum mong larawan.
sa unang mga misionero,
sa usang balay hipalgan.
Kanila ikaw nagpakita
gikan da sa imong gugma.

Tubag:
KANAMO MALOOY KA UNTA
NGA KANIMO NANGILABA
Giludhan ikaw gisingba
niadtong mga kaparian
sa tanan nga katawhan
sa mga ponoan nila:
kay sa pagtan-aw kanimo
Kristianos sila nahimo.
Tubag:
KANAMO MALOOY KA UNTA
NGA KANIMO NANGILABA
Ang singbahan gipatindog
niadtong mga tawhana,
aron ang larawan nimo
dunay usang puluy-anan.
ug didto gihangyo nila
nga kaluyan nimo sila.

Tubag:
KANAMO MALOOY KA UNTA
NGA KANIMO NANGILABA
Nangayo kami kanimo
nga ang matahum mong larawan,
sa sulud sa kalag namo
makahimong puluy-anan,
kay sa tanan kinahanglan
ikaw ang among dalangpan.

Tubag:
KANAMO MALOOY KA UNTA
NGA KANIMO NANGILABA
                                      The people will wave their everytime we sing that song...

 

                                                                              this is during the mass
                             (this is the parade from Cebu down to Lapu-lapu city before the fluvial parade...a large number people waiting at the side of the road waiting the beloved image of our dear Sr. Sto Nino)

                                                  this is during the fluvial parade

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Time endures, time heals

Take some time to smile when you're sad, to rest when you're tired, to love if you're feeling empty and to let go if you need to. Time endures, time heals. In this life, just take some for yourself, then you'll see, everything will fall right into place.



I was thinking what I'm going write my blog tonight since I can't think of anything then I remember a text from a friend. It was a beautiful message actually, it suits what I really felt nowadays. I don't know why these days why I felt to tired, I'm in the mood at work, that it came to the point that I commit so much mistakes. This is my first time that I open what I trully felt in my blog, I'm bored and in pain at lahat na...haha... Then, after receiving this text I realize that there is GOD above me na pwedeng kong pagsabihan lahat lahat. And I can left everything to him, I know time heals, my tears will dry and I'll be alright in time, in HIS amazing TIME. I know GOD has a reason why these things need to happen in my life to teach me some lesson in my life, to make me stronger. I'm still HOPEFUL. I mabye tired now a days but all I need is to make a deep breath and LEFT everything to HIM.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Falling Inlove



It is a mystery why we fall in love.
It is a mystery how it happens.
It is a mystery when it comes.
It is a mystery why some love grows and it is a mystery why some love fails.

You can analyze this mystery and look for reasons and causes, but you will never do anymore than take the life out of the experience.

Just as life itself is more than the sum of the bones and muscles and electrical impulses in body, love is more than the sum of the interests and attractions and commonalities that two people share.

And just as life is a gift that comes and goes in its own time, soo too, the coming of love must be taken as an unfathomable gift that cannot be questiones in its ways.

Sometimes, hopefully at least once in your life - the gift of love will come to you in full flower, and you will take hold of it and celebrate it in all inexpressible beauty. This is dream we all share.

More often, it will come and take hold of you, celebrate you for a brief moment, then move on.

When this happens to young people, they too often try to grasp the love and hold it to them, refusing to see that it is gift that is freely givem and a gift that just as freely, moves away.

When they fall out of love, or the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving, they try desperately to reclaim the love that is lost rather than accepting the gift for what it was, then moving on.

They want answers where there are no answers. They want to know what is wrong in them that makes the other person no longer love them, or they try to get their lover to change, thinking that if some small things were different, love would bloom again.

They blame their circumstances and say that if they go far way and start a new life together, their love will grow.

They try anything to give meaning to what happened. But there is no meaninf beyomd the love itself, and until they accept its own mysterious ways, they live in a sea of misery.

You need to know this about love, and to accept it.
You need to treat what it brings you with kindness.

If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself.
There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart.
If you find someone else in love with you and you don't love her, feel honoured that love came and called at your your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage, do not cause pain. How you deal with love is how you de with you, and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different.

If you fall in love with another, and she falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame. Let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time.

Remember that you dont choose love. Love chooses you. All you can reallt do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away.

Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. Give it to otherd who deem it poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in anyway you can. This is where many lovers go wrong. Having beem so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them.

The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as a nedd. They cease to be someone who generates love and instead becomes someone who seeks love. They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away...

Remember this, and keep it to your heart. Love has its own time, its own seasons, and its own reasons for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into staying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can and theres is nothing you should do.

Love always has been and always will be a mystery.
Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life.

If you keep your heart open, it will come again.

(excerpt from the book "Letters To My Son")

Giving Up


When your HEART broke...You feel Empty, betrayed, and no happiness whatsoever. You don't want to laugh, because you know it's not going to help, but you don't want to cry, because it will just make you feel worse. You feel like your heart is falling apart, but not only that, but you know soon your life is going to feel like it's falling apart too. You don't think it will ever end, and no matter what this person has done to you, it feels impossible to stop loving them. And everyone wonders why if they have hurt you so much, then why do you still love them. That's the confusing part, you don't know why, you just do, and the people who hurt you the most, and normally the ones you love the most. And then, after a few weeks, you finally feel a sense of relief, like you're getting happy again, but you know inside that you're just going into denial. And after a few more weeks, you're back to where you were an empty soul and teary eyes. You thought you got over them, but really, you just stopped showing it. And you can't help but to show it again. It leaves deep scars on your heart that are there forever. And no one understands how you feel, and how deep you are hurt, no matter who they are, because it hasn't happened to them And even if it has, every broken heart is different. They don't know the true pain you feel and carry each and everyday now, so you learn that basically you are alone with all this. And the feeling starts to overwhelm you, and suddenly you just break down, right there, because you know you've had enough, the tears just instantly start flowing, and you're to the point where you don't care who see's. Because you've spent so many nights lying awake in bed, and so many days being haunted by the scars and fear of rejection. And in the midst of all these tears, you know that its not helping any, and it's not going to bring them back, if you ever even had them in the first place. After about a million tears have been cried, you finally pull yourself back together and keep going. Your throat starts to clench and your eyes burn with the tears you are trying to hold back. Everyone says, "It will be okay…” But you know it won't. And that’s the truth, it won’t. And you look back on all of the hurt you had from this, and you realize that people are horrible. You're still hurt, but you've learned to hide it so that everyone thinks you are okay. So now every time you see this person, you know you still love them, and you feel a slight tingle in your heart yearning for them to love you, screaming out, but for some reason they don't hear it. And then you sit back and wonder how one person could have caused all of this...--anonymous--

Monday, January 2, 2012

Welcome 2012...



It was December 31, few hours to wait then 2012 is coming, I was texting with my friends with greetings of Happy New Year. I received a text from someone from my past, it was a greeting of appreciation I replied since were friends after our breakup he’s name is Mike…hahaha.. Then we talked how he is since matagal tagal na din na di ngkausap and I appreciated he’s tattoo since maganda naman I saw it from one of his pictures in Facebook. He told me that he’s tattoo is one of his wants na sa wakas nakamtan na din niya and he don’t know ano pa daw magawa niya for the coming year. I told him think something spectacular and can make him happy then he told me na he’s getting married for the coming year and he’s life well gonna change from then. Sabi ko na lang yeah it will but for the better naman, natawa ako actually since minahal at iniyakan ko ang taong ito dati at di ako pumasok ng SM for 3 months…hahaha… and then ngayon nakausap ko siya sa bagay na ganyan. Well, it was 2 years ago since from our break up and I already forgot the pain. And enjoyed my New Years so much, ang daming ngyari at may isang hiling ako na binigay ni God before the year ends and I’m so thankful despite of everything. And 2012 is a brand new start and I had to forget all the bad things happen in 2011 and I’m hoping for the best for 2012. Me and my whole family enjoyed watching the fireworks display sa mga neighbourhood naming na mga rich..haha…such a good feeling actually watching those light in the sky with different colors it can brought a different feeling. And let’s hope for a better year.

When things are not meant to be


Many times we the heard the question “Is right love at the wrong time is right or wrong?”. For me, it is still wrong because not all the times the love that we felt toward someone is right. Sometimes we have many things to be considered, first if the person you love was still available or someone is already occupying his/her heart. It hurt’s, yeah it is, to let go of someone you  mean so much in your life  it’s not easy, and then you can you say that maybe some things are just not meant to be.

 Meron akong experience dati and that was 5 years ago if I’m not mistaken so forgot me beauty…hahaha...as of now I realize that if things were not meant to be it will never be happen even if your road will crossed again. I want to share this love story of mine…haha…na remember ko lang ito since I had a dream the other day of this person and that’s makes me remind of this love story of mine.  He used to my boardmate before, that was 2008 ata, his name is Henry the first time we meet it was quite the usual way. Morning iyon eh kalalabas ko from my room and Im going to the CR to do my morning routine it means sobrang gulo ng face ko at that time at a bit sleepy pa din..hahaha..tas nagulat ako ng may biglang may ngtanong sa akin pag lingon ko medyo biglang nabuhay me dugo because aminin ko man oh hindi abay may face value ang taong ngtanong..hahaha…ang tanong lang naman “excuse me miss, saan pwede ako makabili ng shampoo?”. Abay nawindang me talaga kasi antok pa ako at alam ko na magulo ang face ko…hahaha… buti nalang medyo malayo sa akin..hahaha… From then, ewan ko ba why our roads will always crossed nandoon iyong palagi ko siyang makasalubong pag lalabas ako ng room until such time that we became comfortable from each other, then exchanging number then texting exchanging thoughts. Then one night, when I was about to do my routine before going to sleep, when I pass the living room of our boarding house, not to be considered naman talaga na living room,  basta maliit lang siya na space with sofa in front of a TV. Tinawag niya ako since hindi pa din kasi antok at that time, kwentuhan churva, then nglakas loob si “mama”mgtanong if my boyfriend ako, of course natawa ako, sabi ko na lang next question please..haha, but he never allow me tawa lang ako kasi at that time I just came from a breakup sa firstlove ever lalo ko…haha. A usual thing to a guy kinulit ako since wala din naman sa akin iyon or like ko din mglabas ng sama ng loob sabi ko wala eh, galing ko sa break up. Then, I noticed he was intently looking at me sabay sabi “Sa ganda mong iyan”,  my reaction abay bolero ang isang ito, of course di me ngpahalata sabi ko na lang, weeeh kaya niya ako iniwan kasi kutong lupa siya…abay napatawa ko ang “mama” doon na notice may face value talaga ang ganda ngumiti..(currently na isip ko pa din pala ang mga ngiting iyon, I just thought na nakalimutan ko,haha, nakatago lang pala). The nights ends sa masayang kwentuhan namin at that week also, I received a text from him inviting for a dinner pasyal ko din daw siya sa Cebu since hindi naman siya taga dito at na assign lang dito para mg train. Since, wala naman akong gagawin sa weekend I said yes kasi may libring kain din iyon, laman tyan din iyon..hahaha. And in the first place I thought it was a friendly date, then the time come masaya naman kami sa gala namin from then palagi ko na siyang kakwentuhan every night but I never bother to ask him if he was with someone else since hindi ko naman nilagayan ng malisya lahat ng iyon since I know from myself that I’m not ready to fall inlove again. Then one night sa kwentuhan namin sinabi niya babalik na daw siya sa manila that week din since patapos na din ang training niya dito I became suddenly sad since I used to na kawentuhan ko siya and he really helps me to forgot for a while sa akong mga kachurvahan since he’s really funny and intelligent. Then sabi ko nalang ganoon ba ingat ka ha, since it day off ko for 2 days I decided to go home since I don’t want to see him leaving. Sunday night I received a text from him never ko siya nakalimutan ang text na iyon…hahaha

“Hi flor, magadang gabi, sana nandito ka sa pag alis ko, alam mo sa maikling oras na ngkasama tayo, aaminin ko nahulog ang loob ko sa iyo, sobrang bait mo kasi, kung sana ngkita at ngkatagpo tayo sa ibang panahon at ibang time, kung saan hindi ako involve sa ibang babae, ikaw sana ang babaeng piliin ko na mahalin”

I was a bit shocked after reading that text, I don’t know how to react, he also mean to me at that time. Monday morning, bumalik ako sa city to see him before he leave we talk about what he felt for me. I was talking to him na sguro ngkataon lang na ako palagi na nakasama niya kaya nasabi niya iyon but he insist what he felt for me is true na kung sana wala siyang GF at that time. After we talk he left going back to Manila, nahirapan akong mag explain what I felt at that time a sudden rush of sadness, hinatid ko siya until makasakay siya ng taxi going to the airport but before he go inside the taxi he hug me and kiss in the cheek, my tears fall until nawala ang taxi sa paningin ko. After he left I miss him everyday until such time na hindi ko na naramdaman ang pangkalungkot ko then someone comes around 2009, our relationship lasted for 7 months, it was around November at that same year when my relationship with mike was not doing good, Cool off kami noon then I meet Henry again bumalik siya ng Cebu for another set of training. As I remember, I was walking at Ayala grocery section to do buy something when someone bugs me from the back, when I turned my head I was a bit surprised when I recognized that smile again. Yes, he was smiling at me and intently staring at my face sabay sabi “flor, kamusta kana? Na miss kita”. I was smiling at him too as I answered “ok lang maganda pa din…haha”, natawa ako sa kalokohan ko, at same time also he was asking my number since na miss ko din siya I give my number again..haha…. Actually at that time I was in a big trouble with my present relationship with mike but hiwalay kami at that time. Kinagabihan we texted but it was friendly conversation, he was asking how’s life and lovelife,hahaha, sabi ko ok naman but I never told him about my current situation. When I asked him about his GF, he was telling that wala daw sila, I was surprised sabi ko na lang, ganoon ba. 3 days of texting he was inviting me again to a dinner, of course sama me since we are both single and again laman tiyan iyon, sayang…hahaha… During our dinner we talk about his girl for 3 years, of course kinig lang ako, churva din kasi ako that time ayaw ko mgbigay ng advice..haha… When he ask me hows my lovelife sabi ko complicated kasi cool off kami noon ni mike, I tell him my story, sabi niya ok lang iyan, maraming mgmahal pa sa iyo. After our dinner hatid niya ako sa boarding house ko since pero din a iyong dati kung saan kami ng meet…haha..doon na sa bago…  After that night, he keep on texting me, then biruan always, then one night ngbiro siya, “flor miss mo ba ako?” sabi ko oo naman wala na kasi akong clown…hahaha… When he suddenly ask a question na miss mo ba si Mike, sabi ko, yap so much, I suddenly open my emotion with him that I’m really sad co’s I really miss mike. After that lumabas pa kami ulit, pero kahit anong pilit ko di mawala talaga si mike sa isip ko kahit mas gwapo pa ang kasama ko…hahaha.. naiiyak ako bigla at that time co’s in my heart how I wish si Mike ang kasama ko at that moment. I know he noticed it, after that he pursued me asking if we can be, I tell him what I truly felt… “sabi ko ayaw ko maging unfair sa iyo kasi mahal ko pa din si mike at nasasaktan pa din ako until now”, he replied, sabi “sana di ka titigil sa pagmamahal dahil lang sa kanya.” After that conversation he never texted me for a week. He just text me 3 days before he go back to manila again but before he left ngkita pa kami, kainan lang din, talking, talking but nothing personal. It was Friday he texted me alam ko iyon ang flight niya pbalik ng Manila at di ko siya hinatid…haha

“flor I love you and goobye, thanks for everything. Ingat ka always.”

I cried after I received that text, maybe things between us were not really meant to be or hindi pa ang panahon for us. I just put in my mind if kami talaga mgtagpo din ulit ang landas namin kung saan pwede na ang lahat.