Laughter is the best medicine..
My collection of FUNNY QUOTES from the different sites and text na din...hehe
tumabi ko syo at huminga ng malalim tinanong mo ako
bakit?
ngumiti ako...
nagtanong ka
ulit...
bakit nga?
bakit?masama bang huminga?!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
hanggang san ba nasusukat ang pagibig?
hanggang san ba napapatunayan ang pagmamahal?
sapat na bang ipaglaban mo ito
o
dapat nalang sumuko?
hindi ko alam pero dapat tandaan mo
wag kang tatakbo pag may aso.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
d ants crawlupon d wall,
i noticed dat no matter how busy dey r
dey stil stop and communicate
i hope we could
be lyk d ANTS
nakakalakad sa walls!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
d most painful thing dat a guy
cud do 2his girl
is sit wid his
friends and say
"pare,
look at her,
paniwalang paniwala
cyang lalake ako!"
damn pare!
d nya alam kaw mahal ko!
bruha cya!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
dey say
"early birds catches the early worm"
cla na lang
d naman ako
kumakain
ng worm eh...
tulog ulit ako...
ggcng n lang
ako pag chicken na ulam!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ang luv parang ngipin
minsan duguan minsan masakit
prang utot din yan minsan
nalilihim,minsan bunyag
pero higit sa lahat
ang lab ay parang kulangot
di mo malalaman kung masarap
kung hindi mo titikman!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
wat if 1 day napadaan ka sa tambayan
ng CRUSH mo
nginitian ka nya
nagtinginan mga
tropa nia
dahil sumabay sya sayo
sabay sabing
cute,
may tagos ka!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ang gabi ay itim. Sa labas ay madilim. Tumingin ka man, cguradong madilim. Buksan mo man ang yong mga mata, kulay itim. Nangangahulugan, ang madilim ay itim.
Huh?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When problems seem unbearable and solutions are too elusive. Never try to give up on life. Why? Come on! Hindi mo alam, grabe ang struggle ng sperm mareach lang ang egg pra mbuhay ka noh!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There are times you're afraid. Times you're confused. Times you feel lonely. times you start to cry. times you start to laugh. ABA! Padoktor ka na baka nababaliw ka na.!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sabi nila, minsan, sa buhay natin, kelangn mamili kung ung taong mhal mo o mhal ka! Hello?! Di na uso un ngaun. Ang tanong., Yummy ba siya?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An angry husband returned home one night to find his wife in bed with a naked man. "What are you doing?" he shouted, to which his wife said to her lover. "I told you he was stupid."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
AMA: Hoy Brando! Huwag kang babakla-bakla ha!
ANAK: Di po itay. Punta nga ako sa basketball court ngayon.
AMA: Yan, astig!
ANAK: Mama, nakita mo pompoms ko?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Miss mo na ba yung mga lines na yes walang pasok! Yung crush mo dadaan, wala daw si maam? Penge one hul. Pkopya naman. Kakamiss db? Pro ms nkkmiss yung
"nay baon! bilis late nko!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Minsan naglalakad ako, ngiisa. Lumingon ako sa kanan, wala akong nakita. Lumingon ako sa kaliwa, wala rin akong nkita. Kaya ayun. tumawid n ako!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nung 1 gabi sumakay ako sa FX. Nagtataka ako kung bakit lahat sila nakatingin skin. Ayaw nila kumibo, nkatitig lng sila skin. May 1 naglakas loob at sinabi. "Iha
inarkila namin to."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ATORNI: Ilang oras ka nirape iha?
MINDA: Mga 5hours po.
ATORNI: ha? 5hours ka nirape?
MINDA: Opo, kasama npo yung foreplay, then nagyosi pa kami pra my bonding.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We are born beautiful.. Some were just born
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3 vampires having dinner.
MAYAMAN: Fresh blood pls.
IDDLE CLASS: Dinuguan nga.
MAHIRAP: Tubig na lang, may napulot kc akong napkin. Magtsatsaa na lang ako.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PEDRO: Miss, pabili nga ng bolpen.
MISS: Sorry po sir, wala po kaming bolpen.
[Inis na lumabas si Pedro sa tindahan.]
PEDRO: My God! Penshoppe walang bolpen! Haller!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nakikipag-areglo!
Kapag iniwan ba kita, hahabulin mo ako? Sasayangin mo ba oras mo para sa akin? Malulungkot ka ba dahil iniwan kita? Sa tingin ko, hindi eh, kasi, noon, iniwan na
kita, ang sabi ko, "Stay!" Sabi mo lang.. "Arf! arf!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ANAK: Lagi na lang ako mali! Hindi na ko gumawa ng tama! Hindi niyo nko mhal! TATAY: Anak, ngkkamali ka. ANAK: p*tang ina! Mali na naman?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ANAK: Tay, san grief ko?
TATAY: Kaw bata ka, di ka pa rin natututo. brief hindi grief!
ANAK: Ah! Eh san po tay?
TATAY: andun sa kwarto, nakahammer!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SAKRISTAN: Father, nakita ko yung pilay, nagdadasal sa altar tapos tinapon saklay nia at naglakad.
PARI: Diyos ko! Isa itong himala! Asan siya?
SAKRISTAN: Andun po, nadapa, basag ang mukha!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DOC1: I'm feeling guilty. I had s*x with my patient.
DOC2: Relax! It really happens in our profession.
DOC1: G*go! Anong relax ka jan? Veterinarian kaya ako!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sa garden of Eden.
ADAM: Lord, hindi ko na kaya ang tukso sakin ni Eba.
LORD: Maging matatag ka anak. Bakit? Paano ka tinutukso?
ADAM: bading! bading! Asaaar!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BOY: Mahal kita! I love you! Lumindol man o bumagyo pupunta ako sa inyo.
GIRL: Bat wala ka kagabi?
BOY: Uhm, ano kasi eh.. Umambon..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2 Mayabang.
PARE1: Galing ng aso ko. Tuwing umaga, dala niya dyaryo sakin.
PARE2: Alam ko.
PARE1: Ha? Pano mo nalaman?
PARE2: Kwinento kaya sakin ng aso ko!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------KUBA: Tnukso nila akong kuba! Makapagaral nga ng karate.
5months later.
FRIEND: Gling mong magkarate ah. Tinatwag kp rin ba nilang kuba?
KUBA: Hindi na, ninja turtle na!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------PASAHERO: Bosing, di pa ba tayo aalis?
DRIVER: mmya na ho, wala pa pong laman.
PASAHERO: Anong tingin mo sa akin? Sabaw?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------TATAY: Junior! Lahat ng ssbihin ko isigaw mo!.
BARIL!! Sigaw!!
JR: BARIL!!
TATAY: BALA!!
JR: BALA!!
TATAY: ARMALITE!!
JR: ARMALITE!!
TATAY: LALAKI!!
JR: Asaan??
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Bus hinold-up.
HOLDUPPER: rereypin ko lahat ng babae dito.
PROSTI: ako na lang po maawa kau sa kanila!
MADRE: weh! epal. lahat nga daw eh. pakielamera to!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ma'am: Class, mgpppicture tayo kasi paglaki nyo masasabi niyo. "Oh si Juan eng'r na! Si pedro doktor na! Si Linda nurse na!"
DODONG: At si ma'am patay na!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------MRS: Bkit ba basa ka ng basa jan sa marriage contract ntin?
MR: [di pnancin si mrs.]
MRS: Oi! ano ba kasi hinahanap mo jan?
MR: naman! tinitignan ko lang kung my expiry date!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------BITOY: dagul, bakit ang pandak mo?
DAGUL: kasi bata pa lang ako ulila na ko.
BITOY: Ano kaugnayan nun sa pgiging pandak mo?
DAGUL: sira pala ulo mo! Wala nga nagpalaki skin!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
May isang kano na nglalakad. Nakita ni Juan na bukas ang bag ng kano!
JUAN: pedro! sbihin mo dun sa kano na bukas ang bag niya ay bukas
PEDRO: hey joe! your bag is tomorrow!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3 tanga ngsisiksikan sa mliit na kama.
TANGA1: pare hindi tyo kasya. Bawas tayo ng 1. Sa lapag nlng m2log. [bumaba ang 1.]
TANGA2: ayan pare maluwag na, akyat ka na dito!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Doc talking to moms. Mhilig ka s sweets so u named her CANDY. Mahilig ka sa pera so u named him PENNY. 3rd mom tumayo, "Let's go D*CK bago tayo mainsulto dito!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Magasawa, nag-aaway.
BABAE: punyet* ka!
LALAKE: punyet* ka rin!
BABAE: t*rantado!
LALAKI: t*rantado ka rin!
BABAE: sup*t!
LALAKI: sorry na!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TXTM81: Friend, my taning na ang buhay ko! Last nyt ko na to kya txt tau buong gabu.
TXTM82: Heh! Tumigil ka nga, maaga pa gising ko bukas buti ikaw hindi na!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------LOLO: paki abot naman yang posporo.
LOLA: anjan naman yung shellane eh!
LOLO: so, ipanlilinis ko yung shellane sa tenga ko?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------PASYENTE: doc, gbi2 panaginip ko basketbol, di ako maka2log ng maayos.
DOC: masama yan! 2 gmot inumin mo cmula mmyang gbi.
PASYENTE: pwede po bukas na?
DOC: bakit?
PASYENTE: championship na mamaya!!
all desirable things in life are either. illegal, banned, fattening, or taken na! Leche tlga! Prang wala ng choice kundi mgksala ah!
ang MAYABANG mhal kna ayw pang aminin. ang TORPE mhal kna ayw pang sbihin, ang PAKIPOT mhal kna ayaw pang sgutin. pero ang TANGA nktapak n ng tae
inamoy pa!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
a black baby is given a pair of wings by a fairy. the baby asked, "does this mean I'm an angel?" fairy laughs, "of course not! negrang to. ambsyosa! paniki ka!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------ANAK: tay, di ako mk2log, dming lamok!
TATAY: ptayin ntin un ilaw pra d nla tau mkita.
[pgptay sa ilaw, pmsok ang mga alitaptap]
ANAK: hala! tay ngdala cla ng flashlyt!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
bakit hindi tntagalog ang NO ID NO ENTRY sa gate lalo n s paaraalan? kc pg tnagalog un, ang klalabasan, WALANG ID WALANG PASOK! Yahoo! uwian na! ang saya!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
a fat farmer was in the crying to flush his shit when suddenly the toiletbowl broke and bursted. the shit flooded into the wheatfields then POOF it beame koko
krunch!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ano ang twag sa higanteng mais? eh di. . kapre-corn.!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
a lizard fell on a table.
Genius: "Oh reptila scincidae"
Kikay: "eew lizard"
Astig: "Shit butiki"
Mataray: "Shucks, tiki." Mayaman: "Yuck Lacoste."
Mahirap: "Pare! ulam!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
a man was carrying 3 babies in a train. Lady sitting next asked. "are they ur babies?"
man: "No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer complaints!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
APO: lola, aatend ako ng tipar.
LOLA: anong tipar?
APO: Tipar is party.
LOLA: Puro salitang kalye! Mga PS kaung lhat!
APO: anu ung PS lola?
LOLA: Paking shet!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
a couple at the wishing well. husband leans over, made a wish and throws coin. wife made a wish, but leans too much, falls in and drowns. Husband: "hala! bilis
naman!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anak: papa ngtumbling ako sa skul!
Ama: I told u hwag kang mgtatumbling at makikita yang panty mo! Anak: Hindi nmn nkita kasi nilagay ko sa bag ko!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
a naked girl rode on a taxi.
GIRL: bkit? ngaun k lang ba nkakita ng hubad?
DRIVER: hindi miss! iniicp ko lng kun san nktago pmasahe mo.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ang kamote ba ay fruit o vegetable? esep esep esep. alam mo na? ano sagot?? Fruit siya kc pgkumain ka ng kamote at nautot ka sabi ng utot mo. "fruuuuut"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
anong gulay ang mputi? eh di. PUTI oe. eh ano naman ang ms mputi sa PUTItoe? eh di.. MashPUTItoe!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man killed a dear and cooked it but doesn't tell kids what it is. He gives a clue, "gnyan twag skin ng mama niyo." The girl cries out. "wag nyo kainin demonyo
yan!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
a husband came home 4am and saw his wife in bed with another man. his wife shouted at him: "where have you been?" Husband: "Who's that man?" Wife: "Ay
grabe ka! don't change the topic!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A devila came running to my room. He wanted to have trouble with good people. I suggested your name. "oh no!" he said, "we should not disturb our superiors!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anak: tay! penge pera, 5 lang po bili lng ako sucherya!
Tatay: tanga! nak, di sucherya twag dun!
Anak: eh ano po ba?
Tatay: chiskarr!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BABAE: langya kang lalaki ka! ginabi ka nnmn! lasing ka pa! ang kapal ng mukha mo! HAYOP ka talaga!
LALAKI: tumahimik ka nga dyan inday! katulong ka lang dto!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ANAK: itay, bibili ako ng band peper
ITAY: anak, wag kang bobo ha? hindi band peper ang twag dun.! ANAK: ano po ba?
ITAY: "kokongban"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Beggar: boss palimos po!
Student: iinom ka? mgsusugal o mgddroga?
Beggar: wala po akong bisyo
Student: ok sana ka skin pra mlamn ng nanay ko ang nangyri sa taong walang bisyo!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
a lawyer driving on a hi-way notices a crowd in an intersection. with his urge to get into the thick crowd and see the action, he shouted, "im the son of the victim." upon hearing, the people made way for him to get through. there he saw, bloody and helpless lying infront of the people. a pig bumped by a trailer truck.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Berto: kmusta assignment?
Ricardo: masama, wala ako nsagutan. blank paper pinasa ko!
Berto: naku ako din! pano yan? bka isipin nla ngkopyahan tau!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
aanhin mo ang npakalaking bhay. mga mamahaling sasakyan. milyong2 kayamanan, at msasarap na pgkain kung katulong ka lang?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ama: blita ko bakla ka?
Anak: di po ako bakla! mga chismax lng yan gling sa mga chuvaness na wala mgwa sa chenelyn nla! mga chaka ever! ako? baklush? hallow!!
Ama: gnun ba? akala ko 22o ang churvah! okei!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------a girl's prayer: dear God, thank you for all the blessings you have bestowed upon me. this time, I won;t ask anything for myself. please just give my parents a hot son-in-law! Amen!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Amo: bkit k umiiyak?
Maid: sbi po kc ng doktor ta2nggalan dw ako ng butlig!
Amo: butlig lang, umiiyak ka na!
Maid: ok lng kung ryt lig or lep lig lang. bkt butligs pa?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A: mgkno po adobo?
M: 20 lng! A: my sbaw?
M: libre na sbaw nmin
A: kanin meron?
M: 5 lang!
A: my tutong?
M: libre na!
A: cge manong, tutong at sabaw nga!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
two friends talking:
PEDRO: wow pare! Nood ako sine knina, ubos 1000 ko!
JUAN: ha? Bkit?
PEDRO: bili ako ng bili ng ticket. Pinupunit nung babae sa pinto! Adik yata!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
two pinoys were driving in L.A highway trying to get to Disneyland. They saw a sign that said, "Disneyland left." So they went home and said, "sayang, di natin naabutan!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: what's your name?
Pupil: early seven strikeland po!
Teacher: niloloko mo ba ko?
Pupil: hindi po, yan ang name ko sa inglis! Sa pilipino po, Agapito Hampaslupa.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
two indians stood a distance from each other.
How did they communicate? Remember they have a red dot on their forehead? Via infrared! Hanep!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sexy: maawa ka! Meron ako, meron ako
Rapist: ah! Wlang meron2 skin! Ti2kman kta!
Sexy: wag! Ay!!
Rapist: yaaak! Meron k nga! Meron kang itlog, bakla!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tatay: bagsak k n nmn! Bat di mo gyahin si Pedro? Palaging my honor!
Anak: unfair naman kung ikukumpara nyo ako kay Pedro!
Tatay: bkit naman?
Anak: matalino kaya tatay nun!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
student nahuli my kodigo.
Guro: ano to ha?
Student: prayer ko po ma'am!
Guro: bat puro sagot naman?
Student: wow!
Nsagot na po prayers ko!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: may 10 inggitera, ngpkmatay ang 1, ilan ang ntira?
A: eh di wala kasi lahat nainggit, gumaya tuloy!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: my joke ako sayo tungkol sa construction.
Ano? A: I'm still working on it pa eh.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: why do farts smell?
A: to give justice to those who can't hear.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: bakit sumikat si sadako?
A: kasi lumabas siya sa TV!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: mike is very late for class one afternoon. His teacher questions him, "what happened? Why are you so late?"
Mike:"I was attacked by gunmen."
Teacher: “Oh my god, did they hurt you?”
Mike: “No, but they stole my homework."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Son: Father can you close your eyes and write your name?
Father: Of course I can that's easy!
Son: Then, please close your eyes and sign my report card?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sa english: eat all you can, don't be shy, feel at home.
Sa tagalog: kain lang ng kain, walang hiya kayo, pakiramdam niyo bahay niyo to.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Saang lugar parehong kulot ang buhok ng babae at lalake? I like the way you think. But the real answer is Africa.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sa mall.
Mom: Anak, wag ka bibitaw sa palda ko para di ka mawala ha?
Anak: opo nay! Two hours later
Mom: Mamang guard, may nkita ba kayong batang may dalang palda?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Welcome to the battle of the brainless!
Announcer: ano ang pambansang hayop sa Pilipinas? Nagsisimula ito sa K!
Contestant: Kuto?
Announcer: sa lupa ito gumagapang
Contestant: Kutong Lupa!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Prof: meron bang tanga dito sa klasE? Kung meron tumayo! [May tumayong estudyante]
Prof: tanga ka ba?
Student: naawa lang po ako sau sir, kaw lang nktayo eh. Sasamahan n kita.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
sumakay si mahal sa taxi.
Mahal: mama alam niyo to address? Siksikoten patay titi. Tinignan ng driver ang papel. Ang address pala ay 66010 pasay city.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
5 ways to annoy your professor.
5. be absent always
4. don’t do your homework
3. sleep in class.
2. make the whole class laugh while the prof is talking.
1. perfect his exam.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: ano twag sa hipon na laging nadidisgrasya?
A: Accident Prawn!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pulis1: pre, alam mo naba ang usap-usapan?
Pulis2: bakit pre anong balita?
P1: may bading daw sa campo ntin?
P2: sino daw pre?
P1: kiss muna!
Bakit mahirap pansinin ang isang X-boyfriend or X-girlfriend
Nagalit ka kasi sinaktan ka niya?
Nagalit ka kasi niloko Ka niya?
Nagalit ka kasi iniwan ka niya
OR
Nahihiya ka lang kasi naghuhuburan kayo dati…
------------------------------------------------------------------
DIONISIA : many, sabi nila sa labas pangit daw ako.
MANNY: Alam mo Nay ang tunay na kagandahan nasa loob kaya huwag ka ng lumabas…
Hahaha
------------------------------------------------------------------
What s love?
Love is fantastic
romantic
realistic
dramatic
and full of
atik-atik
malasang mabitik
cguradong maLOVESICK! :)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
a couple had 3 kids named
SOMEBODY, NOBODY and CRAZY
NOBODY was the favorite,
SOMEBODY was jealous.
so he killed NOBODY.
CRAZY saw what hapend, he called, he called the cops and sed :
" hello police, SOMEBODY killed NOBODY "
da poloice asked,
" are you crazy? "
he said:
" yes im crazy " ??
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Woman has only 2 choices in LIFE:
(1) To be SINGLE and look for a husband every DAY..
or
(2) To get MARRIED and look for her husband every NIGHT..
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I know all kinds of chocolates are sweet..
but nothing can compare 2 d sweetness of my..
L I P S
--hahaha
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
when someone throws u a stone
go & find hollow blocks to hit them back!!!
It’s not all the time you have to
endure the PAIN sometimes
YOU have to let d person LEARN
a lesson the HARD way...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
not all the time silence means YES
sometimes ...
silence means
LOADING....
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
do not do unto others
what we did last night!!!
---hahaha
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GOODBYE is the most painful
word to hear
but for me....
it's the best word ever
LIKE THIS:
"GOODBYE class! you're dismissed"
---hahaha, di diba ang saya saya..
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TEACHER: imagine u r a millionaire
Write your life history
(1 boy didn't write)
TEACHER: why r u not writing?
BOY: I’m waiting for my secretary!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Girl is the SubjEct,
Boy is the PredicatE,
When the Predicate
t0uches the SubjEct...
Baby is the Direct Object!
hahahaha
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WEDDING STATUS:
A newly married man saved his wife's number on his cel as 'MY LIFE.'
After 1yr of marriage he changed the number to MY WIFE’
After 2yrs, he changed the number to HOME
After 5yrs of marriage, he changed the Number to HITLER
After 10yrs of marriage, he changed the number to "WRONG NUMBER!
--hahaha
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
YOU AND I
Romise Me Walang Iwanan Kahit Anong Mangyari Ako At Ikaw
You Are The Roof I’m The Ceiling You Are The Floor I’m The Tiles
You Are The Moon I’m The Star You Are The Sun Im Rays Im The
Tree................
You Are The Monkey.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
two students were caught naked having sex in a classroom
JANITOR: aha! violating school rules!
BOY: what rule??
JANITOR: (thinking) NOT WEARING UNFORM!!!
--hahaha, kawawang janitor…
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THEY SAY:
not all single
are available
HOW ABOUT:
not all taken
are inlove...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
a very touching story
the boy touches d girl's
hand, and the girl touches
the boy's hand....what a
touching story - bwahahaha!!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I’ve been living in this hell..
but if u insist that theres heaven...
will u take me there?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"i studied everything but
never topped. but today,
the topnotcher of the
best universities are my
employees..."
--Bill Gates--
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A fat lady asked her bf what she lookd like..
d boy replied:
"you look like a GOD."
d fat lady smiled..
Giggled and blushed then askd"
cnung GOD? Aphrodite? Venus? who?
d boy lookd deeply in her eyes..
touched her belly and said..
"buddah"..
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The best qoute for students out there:
"I'd rather open my Facebook. Than to FACE my BOOK>"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
its so nice when someone sleeping
& someone touches your back
very slowly moving 2wards your neck right very close
whisper..
"round 3”?
hahaha
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If climbing the highest mountain on
earth is the only way for him to be mine..
then i'd rather go shopping!
---diba bongga…hahaha
------------------------------------------------------------------
"If you don't want to see me smoking..
Then you should better find a ways to make my lips busy!"
hehe..
------------------------------------------------------------------
I was planning to kill the most
beautiful, & charming girl on earth
then I realized should I kill myself?
What a big sin to do this thing!
------------------------------------------------------------------
What’s similarity between panty & sky?
sky covers d whole population..
& Panty Covers d source of population!
haha..
------------------------------------------------------------------
a lady n a bar walks 2 d barman * puts her
finger in2 barman's mouth.
Barman: lusty kisses & lick each finger.
Lady says: Tel your manager theres no toilet paper!
----hahahhaa…ewwwwwwwwwwwww
------------------------------------------------------------------
what is "shock?"
shock is when a guy is having sex 2 his
pregnant wife when suddenly, little hands grab
his penis and said.. "daddy! huyi ka!"
--hahaha
------------------------------------------------------------------
love can remove fears
love can remove doubts
love can remove worries
and love can remove underwear’s too.
so be careful..=)
------------------------------------------------------------------
DIFFICULT REALITY:
"Waiting 4 d right 1 is never that EASY...
Specially when d wrong 1 is so..
YUMMY!.."
------------------------------------------------------------------
"You cannot taste me..
Unless you take of my dress"
-banana
------------------------------------------------------------------
why are condoms transparent?
So that d sperms could at least enjoy d scenery
of their supposedly promised land..
poor little creatures!
