Mixed Emotions..

It's been a long time since I wrote something in this blog. Lately, I've been so numbed I can't think of anything, and worst of all I even stopped praying though every night I still have the time to talk with my GOD. I miss my GOD, the feeling that HE was there listening my hang ups in life, everytime I talked about some guys I meet along the way, or even the guy who sit next to me in the cab or even in the church...haha..(well I'm just a fool sometimes..) I miss the feeling that HE was touching my hair everytime I cried because someone hurt me. Guiltiness strikes me every way, I know I've done a lot things which is contrary in HIS way. But I know deep inside my GOD was waiting for me to comeback in his arms.

On the other side, I'm planning to write a tagalog poem for the first time...haha...I am inspired the song of Mr. Martin Nievera in titled Ikaw ang Lahat sa akin...it was a really a nice song...for the heart broken out there...haha... There's this line in the song that I feel so darn hurt I don't know why...haha..

                           "ikaw ang lahat sa akin,
                                 kahit ika'y wala sa aking piling
                                 isang magandang alaala
                                 isang kahpon, lagi kong kasama
                                 ikaw ang lahat sa akin
                                 kahit ika'y di ko dapat ibigin
                                dapat ba kitang limutin
                                pano mapipigil ang isang damdamin
                                kung ang sinisigaw
                               ikaw ang lahat sa akin"

O diba ang sakit ng bonggang bongga ang mga lines na ito...haha... One of my close friend in the office ask me "Why I am still single?" I answered him I don't know why,haha.. Then he told something that make me think for a while. 

                      "Ikaw naman kasi dai, sunod sunod kasi ng ngmahal hindi mo hinayaan ang self mo na totally ma recover from one pain, kaya ngayon hindi mo na alam paano mo paghilumin ang sakit ng nkaraan." 

Darn, it make me stop, and think for a while, there's this someone in my past that still hunt me every now and then. I can still remember the happy memories that we have, I miss his hand fitted with mine, his hugs, his kiss in my hair, his sweet nothings and everytime he sing a song for me. Haissttt...that even a simpliest song still lingers his memory and the funny thing ang kanta is...  

                 there's something for you at SM...nyahaha

Oh, diba kabaliwan lang...haha...but I want to start the tagalog poem I wanted to write...it's not really my forte actually, I preferred to write it in English kasi minsan may mga bagay ako tinatago sa bawat lines..